Torah Stories: Dama ben Netina

This is a Re-Post of the story that was told on JewishVirtualLibrary.org and is connected to the last post I published. I wanted readers to have a copy of the story available here for those who don't know it.

DAMA, SON OF NETINA, according to the aggadah (TY Peah 1:1, 15c, Kidd. 1:7, 61b), a gentile council president (Gr. patēr boulēs) who lived in Ashkalon sometime in the first century C.E. According to R. Joḥanan, when R. *Eliezer was asked about the extent of the obligation to honor one's parents, he pointed to Dama as a perfect example of filial piety. The outline of the story as told in the Jerusalem Talmud is as follows: It happened once that one of the precious stones fell out of the High Priest's breastplate, and was lost. Seeking a replacement, the sages were referred to a certain Dama ben Netina who purportedly had the exact jewel they required in his possession. They offered him one hundred dinar, and Dama accepted their offer. When he went to fetch the jewel he discovered that he could not access it without waking his father. So he returned and informed his clients that he could not provide them with the item they sought. Assuming that he was trying to renegotiate the price, they increased their offer until they reached a sum of 1000 dinar. When his father finally woke up he brought them the jewel, and they were still willing to pay him their final offer of 1000 dinar. Dama, however, was only willing to accept their initial offer of one hundred, saying: "What? Do you think that I would sell the honor of my fathers for mere coins? I refuse to derive any tangible benefit from the honor of my fathers!" The Jerusalem Talmud goes on to ask what heavenly reward Dama received for such meritorious behavior. The answer given was that on that very night a pure red heifer – essential, according to Num. 19, for attaining ritual purity – was born to Dama's cow, and so the Jews purchased this extremely rare item from him for a small fortune.


It is amazing the amount of respect he had for his father. Not only did he respect his father, he also had a value for it. It meant something to him and he was not even prepared to sell this for money. 

Torah Stories: HaRav Meir Shapiro

This is a story about the Rav Meir Shapiro when he was a child. I found it on Revach and I just copied and pasted it on here. Thanks Revach. 

Rav Meir Shapiro's Mother Cries, "Meir’el, Meir’el"

The Gaon, Rav Meir Shapiro, z’tl, the Rav of Lublin once told a childhood story about his mother.  “When I was a boy, my family was forced to move several times from house to house.  We also moved from city to city.  The constant moving did not disturb my mother’s equilibrium; only one thing would bother her – my bittul Torah!”“On one occasion, as we were again preparing to move, my mother had an idea.  She contacted the melamed of the town to which we were moving, and arranged that he would meet me by the gate of the city.  He would then be able to learn with me immediately when we arrived at the town.” “When we finally reached our destination, we searched and searched, but the melamed was not there.  My mother sat down next to the wagon and cried for a long time.  I tried to calm her down by saying, ‘Mommy, Mommy, why are you crying, I’ll learn tomorrow!’” “My mother answered, ‘Meir’el, Meir’el, You don’t yet know how to appreciate the meaning of bittul Torah of one day!”  (Chayim Sheyash Bahem) A great story of how jewish parents saw importance in Talmud Torah. With this kind of childhood, it is no surprise that the Rav Shapiro INVENTED THE DAF YOMI. For those who are not familiar, it is a cyclical system which unites all jews all over the world in learning the same page of Talmud everyday. It finishes the whole Bavli in a little more than 7 years

Micro to Macro

I do not remember the source of the following story but I do remember that it intrigued me quite a bit.

Two twins are in their mother's womb and are talking to one another right when they feel the birth is about to begin. One says to the other in fright, "that's it for us, our world is coming to an end! It's over! Here it was so nice, and warm. We always had nourishment, and there were never any dangers. And now death is coming, our life and world as we know it is coming to and end!" The other one reassures him, "do not be afraid brother, for I've heard differently. This is only the beginning, outside there is a whole other world! There is space, and trees, animals, sunsets, different foods and flavors to try, relationships with parents, and friends. We are going to a world much greater than this one!" The point of this parable is to show us how the world in which we live in is also just temporary and that there is a world to come, which is much greater than this one. And that which the second baby "heard" is our tradition and teachings of the Torah, which can guide us to look upon our present situation much broader than if we only had our own instincts and experiences. 

I used this story here, to convey a sense of how the world is new to a newborn child when he is born, and how his relationship with his parents is critical for everything to come in his life. He is presented with "parents" which are everything to him in the beginning. The baby is fully dependent on the parent for every action and has no ability of survival of his own. The parents are Mekayem (literally means keeping alive and giving life to the child all the time) the child every second of its life. Only through the effort of the parents will this soul be able to have a life of his own in the future. Who are these two figures which we call parents and what are they to the child? Like it is stated in parashas bereshis, " On the day that God created Adam, in the likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them. He blessed them and called their name Adam on the day they were created ",  man and woman were created together and only later were they spilt into two parts. This is crucial for understanding of the child-parent relationship, because we can see that really both parents act like one entity. Any actions that either one of them take will effect the whole unity and dynamics of the relationship between all three. This aids us to understand that the two parents are in reality one being. So basically we have a child who has entered to a new world which seems to be governed by one entity, which is split up into two physical beings. Does this seem similar to anything? Yes! It is exactly the situation which we are in with our relationship with Hashem. We are in this world which He governs as a unity( Shema Israel Hashem Elokeynu Hashem Ehad), but to our eyes everything is split into many physical "things" or features (Ma rabu maasheha Hashem, culam bechochma asita). These two relationships are in a way very similar.  This is what I am trying to get at... the relationship which we form with our children from an early age, will be the foundation of his relationship with The Holy One Blessed Be He.

The parents also have different tasks and characteristics which make their fusion perfect. They each also represent a certain "characteristic" of Hashem. Man and woman, who where created as one, were created in the image of Hashem, as written in Bereshit 1, 26, " And we shall make Adam in our image like our likeness".  We see that the Elokim says plurally, "in our image" rather than a single image. This may allude to several things, one being that The Holy One Blessed be He, even though he is One and everything, has several ways of acting, or leaving his "image" in this world. We can learn this from simply studying the grammar of the Torah. Always when Elokim "says" or does something, it is written "And Elokim said" or "created" in singular form. This is so even thought the word Elokim literally means "many Kels or powers". In this case when discribing Himself, the Torah uses a plural form to state "our image". This basically explains that while in actions, Elokim is one and is acting upon the world as a total and complete unity, where everything is interconnected and carefully planned and woven together, He consists of many "powers" and forces for lack of better wording. To our eyes these may seem as different forces because we lack the abillity to understand the Creators actions, but truly the Creator is One. Just as Maimonides writes about the inability to understand the creator, in Hilchot Yesodei Hatorah 2.10, "and this is not withing the pwer of any man to comprehend clearly", man is inept for this. Therefor, we see that the creation of Adam alludes to a oneness of man and woman. This oneness is key for relationship between man, woman, and child. 


 There are two main names which the Torah uses for Hashem. There is Elokim and Hashem, the four letter name. We know that Elokim is a name pertaining to the sephira Gevurah and Hashem pertains to Chesed. Here is a quick explanation of the two sephiros. In the same way the man and woman both pertain mainly to one of these sefirot. The man to Chesed and woman to Gevura. Of course there are times when it is the other way around but mainly this is the situation. The same way that a child will not get the same treatment from both parents on a particular case, he will later not always get the same treatment from Hashem. There are times when in life we need to be taught a lesson and times when we are given a gift of kindness from the Creator. A healthy balance of the two aspects in parenting will prepare the child for a healthy relationship with Hashem and the world. Just as the Torah teaches us that the Creator shows Himself to us in different lights, but is really one, the same way it is important that the parents use different techniques in unity to teach the child how to approach Hashem. In the future of his life the child will realize that there is One who creates all, and oversees all, and with a healthy balance in his childhood will be able to create a real relationship. He will not be depressed when "life" throws him down, and will not be over exited at times of blessing. The child must learn to accept the fact that life is full of ups and downs. Like we are commanded to bless Hashem for the bad just as well as the good (Baruch Dayan Haemet), the child must learn to accept the truth of life's path. This will create a more mentally balanced child. The only way accomplish this is to, by the united relationship of the parents, present to the child that both characteristics and approaches of the parents are all part of a greater whole which is eternally united. The parents can only achieve this by truly being united with one another. Everything in the household depends on this as is said in Sota 17 by Rabbi Akiva, "Man and woman, they achieved, Shchina lies in between them, they didn't achieve, fire will eat them". The parents must be united to achieve shchina, or the harmony and presence of Hashem in the household. 

Basically, the parents must look at themselves as creators of the child's reality as pertains to spirituality and all things. Hopefully, based on this article, in another blog, I will address the importance of parents always appearing "together" in the eyes of the child, even when they disagree on something in particular.